I can’t believe how quickly this past month, or year in fact, has gone by. Looking back on the past year it has to be one of the worst year’s that I have ever been through in many ways that I am not comfortable to discuss on my blog, mainly because of how personal they are. Maybe it will be something that I discuss in years to come, who knows. Although I’m one to try and be positive rather than negative, I have to say that this year has been more negative than positive for me, but that isn’t to say that it has all been negative.
This year is the year that my mental health seems to have suffered quite a lot more than previous years and there a various reasons for that, some of which are too personal for me to discuss as I’m not comfortable in sharing this information. Although I’ve had awful year overall, I don’t anybody to pity me in the slightest. Sympathy is the last thing that I want, I don’t want people feeling sorry for me. I honestly just can’t wait to see the back of what, in my eyes, was an awful year.
As much as this past year wasn’t the greatest, I also realise that I’ve been through a lot of growth within myself. The difficult times that I have been through have made me want to give up after every hurdle, but I’ve not given up. There’s been a lot of moments where I’ve felt like there has been no point or purpose, nonetheless I have pushed on and persevered through these hard times. There have been times where I have fallen down but I have picked myself back up and carried on regardless. As much as I have wanted to give up, I’m glad that I haven’t.
Compared to last year I feel as though I’m a much more stronger and confident person, yet at the same time I know that this is something that I can still improve on. Yes, I’m more confident, but not as confident in myself as I would like to be. I still very much doubt myself and capability quite a lot. As much as I am a stronger person than I was last year, I’m still not thick-skinned and I allow things to affect myself and my emotions more than I should. I’m quite a sensitive person, you could say.
This year I’m also appreciative of the position that I am in compared to this time last year. Through all the shit (excuse my language) I’ve somehow come out better, despite all the hurdles that I may have gone through and that is something that I couldn’t be more appreciative for. I can only hope that 2018 is a better year, a year where I am able to embrace the difficult situations and continue to grow as a person as a result of that.
All in all, 2017 hasn’t been great for me, but I can appreciate the good moments too. I’m grateful for my job, the new friends that I have made, and the lessons that I have learned through difficult situations.
Bring on 1st January, a new week, a new year, and a fresh start. I’m more than ready and determined for the new challenges that the new year may bring and to conquer them.
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