I hate the thought of failing at something and being perceived as a failure to other people. Of course, I’m sure that everyone hates to fail, whether that be on a test or meeting a goal, but for me I feel like this fear of failure does actually prevent me from succeeding at certain things. Fearing failure is such a personal thing too because we all have different goals, aspirations and priorities in life, so our concept of failure alongside our expectations of ourselves will differ slightly from the next person. I hope that makes sense to you.
Because I’m afraid of failing, there are times where I just don’t try things at all in order to prevent the disappointment.
The older that I’ve become, the more I fear failure itself. I think that a lot of it is due to the internalised pressure that I put on myself in order to make other people around me proud of my achievements. In recent years, my fear of failure itself has actually prevented me from doing/continuing certain things simply because I couldn’t bear the thought of not succeeding. If I don’t do a particular thing or give up early on, then in my mind I’ve stopped myself from failing, which I know sounds kind of stupid. I don’t even give myself a shot at trying to accomplish these things because then it prevents me from feeling ashamed if I end up failing at the end of it.
However, this is something that I’m trying to work on because I know that it has a significant effect on the things I do and my decisions.
One of the reasons why I gave up my driving lessons with my first driving instructor was down to my fear of failure to some extent. Driving isn’t the easiest skill to pick up and it takes a lot of hard work. That’s why it took me almost 2 years to actually get started with my driving lessons again, this time with a new instructor. Learning to drive is still nerve wracking and it still makes me anxious. It’s not something that makes me feel comfortable and sometimes I do feel like giving up with it because I fear that I’ll fail. However, I’m battling with these thoughts and not giving in. I’m determined to be persistent and not let the fear of failing take over me, because at the end of the da learning to drive is so far out of my comfort zone.
There are a few reasons why I think that I fear failure. The first of these being have low self-esteem / self-confidence. As I don’t have very much confidence in myself and my abilities, I tend to think more negatively about the outcomes of a situation and how I’ll perform. I’m a bit of a perfectionist too, so I like doing things properly and knowing that I’m going to succeed at them otherwise I’ll struggle to put much effort into something that I fear is going to fail anyway.
Anyway, fearing failure is something that’s a work in progress at the moment. To start with, I’ve promised myself that I’m going to keep at it with the driving lessons, despite any of the negative and anxious thoughts about learning and fearing failure. I’m trying to be more positive about certain situations and stepping out of my comfort zone, even if it does scare me.
I also found out from a little bit of research around this blog post that the fear of failure is also known as atychiphobia. You learn something new everyday!